September 24, 2019

I came to Japan for the first time in two years after completing my overseas assignment. I stepped off the plane, Japanese were everywhere and what they said clearly audible. That made me realize that I was Japanese. People around me saw myself as Japanese and of course never teased for my Asian face.

When I approached a LAWSON, it made me nostalgic to hear its musical doorbell. I wanted to drink green tee. There were various option of payment―cash, credit card or electronic money: PayPay, Line Pay, Rakuten Pay, etc. Which reminded me of too many functions of Japanese product like TV: no one have a good command of it, unlike Apple product like iPhone that is simple.

It is a typical of Japan. It is good to promote efficiency, but they are not good at consolidating a system. I had decided to centralize my payment in Rakuten with a good point return rate. I took its card from my pocket the way American do.

I took Narita Express to Shinjuku. I felt comfortable with its great speed. Before long, however, a melancholy atmosphere came over me; I missed the ease of conversation that I can have with strangers the way I had been abroad. If you talked to a stranger without any particular reason, you are seen as weird. If a man did to a woman, he is a seducer.

Shinjuku is always crowded. I walked into a drug store and was satisfied to buy something I craved for. It occurred to me that I heard my fellows say “Let’s eat steak in Ginza.” It was none of my business. I did not want to be with the Japanese who prefer to act as a group that values harmony. No openness, no optimism, and tenuous friendships. It is always boring. I wondered why they would not spend time and money with their loved ones. I am not a Japanese who stick in a Japanese group. I am a man who is out in the world.

To leave my heavy baggage, I headed to the capsule hotel where many foreigners stay. Since I was a backpacker, I did not mind sharing a room. Though from the facade the hotel did not look like much more than an obscure building, it had a variety of facilities―a cafe like a manga library with free drinks, man-made hot springs with modern amenities and a coworking space.

In the cafe, I put the food onto the table, microwaved rice and poured hot water into the instant soup. But why eat steak in Ginza today? As long as we were abroad, virtually we could not do Japanese food. I placed natto neatly on top of my white rice with my chopsticks; putting a beaten egg and soy source on the whole. I took bites of rice and natto over miso soup and I was in heaven.

I woke up in the middle of the night because of jet lag and wandered around the hotel. This hotel was in a glass building overlooking pedestrians and vehicles in the busy main road that glistened in the city. Tokyo never sleeps. I was afraid that I would have to work to death, sighing.

When I thought this, I saw a group of businessmen stumbling through the sidewalk. I knew that drinking is to forge a relationship and share your true inner feelings. They complain about their company that they were never going to leave and conclude that they maintain the status quo. I simply thought it ridiculous. It is like symptomatic treatment to ease their distress, not radical one. If you had such time, you would be better off acquiring new skill to leave your company.

I do not necessarily like working, but hate drinking for work. Perhaps you want to go up, and if so, you had better join it. If you do not drink alcohol, you can find other ways to partake in golf, pachinko or mahjong, according to your boss’s preference or the custom in your company. Unfortunately, I am incompatible with all of them, that is, I am a social misfit.

On the other hand, women have the privilege to refuse to invitations. Sensible men (in Japan, most managers are men) fear being accused and punished for what they would perceive as harassment. Like a man hold a strap with both hands on a crowded train to avoid being mistaken for a molester. The best strategy to do it was to say “I have small kids waiting for me.” You would know that their children had not grown up over the years.

As for ordinary Japanese couples, men devote his life for work and women devote her life for her children without a housekeeper. Traveling abroad for a month is out of the question unless they quit their job. I never wanted my life to be controlled. I love traveling as a backpacker.

I was not sleepy at all and went down the stairs to soak in the hot springs, where I would talk with strangers.